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Whoever It's More Important To, Wins

I have this really simple rule that I use in my relationships:

"Whoever it's more important to, wins."

Oh, but it seems so awfully simple, doesn't it?

Yet when you really, really ponder this relationship rule, it's actually quite complex.

Much of the friction in relationships stems from two people trying to do things their way.  One partner wants the thermostat at 79, the other wants it at 72.  One partner is financially conservative, the other is aggressive.  I could go on, but you get my drift, right?

I have this really simple rule that I use in my relationships: "Whoever it's more important to, wins." Oh, but it seems so awfully simple, doesn't it? Yet when you really, really ponder this relationship rule, it's actually quite complex. Much of the friction in relationships stems from two people trying to do things their way.  One partner wants the thermostat at 79, the other wants it at 72.  One partner is financially conservative, the other is aggressive.  I could go on, but you get my drift, right? So applying the rule, let's start with the temperature.  Who's it truly more important to? See, it gets tricky, right?  Obviously you think it's more important to you to have it at 72, because that's your preference.  But if you have enough trust & love in your relationship, then you can look beyond your preference and apply the rule.  But this will only work if there is enough trust & love in your relationship.  Obviously if someone is in a relationship to take advantage of you, they'll never put your needs before theirs. See, this isn't easy.  But you can apply the rule to absolutely everything.    Where do you go for dinner... who's it more important to?  Let them decide.  I even say it out loud when I'm struggling with an issue.   Next time you're fighting with your partner about whether or not to buy that bigscreen TV, ask each other who the issue is more important to and let that person win.  And if you can't give in, then you should re-evaluate your relationship. Oh, and here's a little aside, completely unrelated to my point above.   I also have another 'relationship saver' that I use (I got this from our friends Carlo & Michee).   Whenever we're fighting, if one of us whistles at the other person, that person has to shake his or her butt.  Yes it sounds super dumb & corny but let me tell you, nothing relieves the tension of a fight with your woman like a little butt shake.  Try it sometime!  But in order for that to work, the two of you have to agree that "no matter what, what what", you'll do the shake.  No matter how angry you are.  :)

Allison

On Tynan

This week I've been going through the seven plastic boxes of stuff that I've had stored in my dad's garage. I thought I only had two or three, but when it's not stored at your own place, it's easy to lose track. He asked me to consolodate it into fewer boxes, which is a pretty reasonable request for a minimalist.

So I went through it all, and it was an amazing trip back in time. I found old notes, an unopened time capsule from 1993, an MC Hammer casette, and a bunch of other stuff I'd forgotten about. I also found a bunch of stuff from my first girlfriend, Allison.

Allison wasn't the first girl I ever called my girlfriend, but she was my first girlfriend. The first girl I went on dates with, the first girl I loved, and the first girl I slept with. The whole thing should have never really happened, statistically speaking. If we each have a certain amount of luck in dating, then after her I probably should have been single for the rest of my life.

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